Civility Doesn’t Mean Blowing Hot And Cold

I used to think it was a worthy skill unique to litigators: the ability to be harsh and aggressive when it seemed appropriate in the course of representing a client (in a deposition, for instance), but turning immediately friendly and professional as soon as we’d gone off the record and there was no question or objection pending.  After all, didn’t it show that, as lawyers, we were in complete control of our emotions when we could turn our temper on and off, like John McEnroe at a Wimbledon final?

I’ve come to think differently now.  I just finished a deposition with a crusty older litigator and I found his penchant for blowing hot and cold disconcerting.  I was not doing the questioning, but while we were on the record he would make frequent, loud outbursts at the female lawyer conducting the deposition of his client.  She, too, was seasoned and seemed unfazed by his temper, though she did ask him a few times not to yell at her.  When we took breaks, he would almost instantly turn cordial, asking her where she lived, about her kids, etc.  She played along, as though such vacillation of temperament was the most natural thing in the world.

The rules of ethics and most judges expect lawyers on both sides of a case to treat each other with “civility.”  Are loud, threatening outbursts transformed into civility just because we change from bad cop into good cop when aggressivity is no longer called for?  I don’t think so.  Certainly there are going to be times during a deposition, negotiation or even a hearing when zealous representation calls for us to “kick it up a notch,” and establish a line we don’t expect will be crossed.  But I doubt the experienced lawyer making the loud outbursts during the deposition would have behaved the same way during a trial–even a bench trial.  So, why should he behave any differently just because there’s no judge or jury present?

I’ve been guilty of this in the past, though I always found it more difficult to instantly change from nasty bad cop to friendly good cop.  When our communications turned cordial, I usually felt inauthentic.  At the end of a full day of this, I was invariably exhausted.  I still get riled sometimes, but I try (not always successfully, I admit) to maintain civility even when I feel my opponent is being unreasonable.  I suspect, though I have no evidence to back it up, that litigators would live longer, happier lives if we could just cut out the vacillation between hot and cold and just treat each other civilly all the time instead.

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