But when I do, I vastly prefer mediation to arbitration. Here are five reasons why:

1. The Split-The-Baby Problem.

I’ve had retired judges and other neutrals tell me they don’t like presiding over arbitrations because they invariably lose a future potential client: the lawyer for the losing side. There is one thing arbitrators will try to do to temper this inevitability: they may issue a “split the baby” award, giving an allegedly aggrieved plaintiff something even if he failed to prove his case or suffered no damages. While many will argue that a small “split the baby” award is far better than a runaway jury verdict, in cases involving fee-shifting statutes, such as employment discrimination litigation, the employer who might have won outright in front of a jury is forced to pay the “prevailing” plaintiff’s attorney’s fees (in addition to the arbitrator’s fees and costs).

2. Informality Is Not Necessarily A Good Thing.

It is often thought that arbitration is preferable to a bench or jury trial because the proceedings tend to be more informal. Informality might sound good, but it can be a problem if your arbitrator decides to relax the rules of evidence (which is typically within her discretion) and your opponent’s case hinges on an item of otherwise inadmissible evidence, such as a hearsay statement.

3. No Appellate Review.

What do you do if you lose the arbitration due to a clearly erroneous ruling by the arbitrator? Don’t look to any appellate court for relief. While it is true that the Federal Arbitration Act (FAA) and other schemes may create a situation in which some appellate review is available, the circumstances and scope of review is inevitably limited compared with a state or federal appellate court.

4. Good Luck With That Summary Judgment Motion.

While it can be argued that certain courts are more or less likely to grant meritorious summary judgment motions, many will agree that obtaining summary judgment in a case pending before a private arbitrator may be the toughest sell of all. Without naming names, I suspect there are two reasons for this. First, an arbitrator who grants summary judgment is foregoing a significant income opportunity. While many first-rate neutrals are so fully booked they have no trouble filling time gaps created by a vacated arbitration hearing, this is not always the case. Second, a party who is deprived its right to a full evidentiary hearing because of a summary judgment will almost certainly feel shorted. Her lawyer is unlikely to hire the neutral again.

5. It’s Damn Costly.

Many practitioners feel as I do that arbitration is just too costly to be seriously considered as an alternative to resolving a dispute in state or federal court. In addition to the arbitrator’s hourly rate, which equals or exceeds that of most lawyers, many ADR providers tack on large administrative charges. Those of us that represent employers in employment litigation are stuck trying to explain to our clients why they must deposit, in advance, all of the arbitrator’s fees and costs.

I recognize these are pretty broad strokes. But in most instances, given the choice between a bench or jury trial and a binding arbitration, I’d prefer to stay in court and try to resolve the case through mediation.

You are a CEO reporting to an angry board.  You are a sole proprietor with the future of your business at stake.  Or you are an employee accused of discrimination or harassment, with your job and relationship at home on the line.  Lawsuits are long, drawn out, often dramatic ordeals; they exact a toll on the participants.  What follows are some ideas about how to cope with this drama and stress:

1.  Find a lawyer you trust.  This sounds obvious, but it can take some searching to find the right attorney.  He or she must be competent in your eyes, or your stress level will increase.  Equally important, your lawyer must be able to manage the stress of the suit or, again, your stress level will be worsened.

2.  Trust the lawyer you find.  Once you find the right lawyer, trust him or her.  It is rare that your lawyer will not want and expect you to be truthful with him or her, even if the facts are bad or embarrassing.  Your lawyer is in the best position to help you or your company; arm him or her with the true facts.

3.  Participate in your case.  I have found that individual clients who take an active role in their case experience a feeling of control.  It’s not illusory.  Your lawyer can only work with the tools and materials made available to him or her.  You can do quite a lot, by locating and organizing documents, educating your lawyer about the nuances of your business or the circumstances of the case.

4.  Manage your anger, fear or frustration.  The stress of being the target of a lawsuit is not dissimilar from other traumatic or stressful events.  Experts coach those going through a divorce or enduring a tragedy to use exercise or relaxation techniques, like meditation, to manage the stress.  Think of a lawsuit in the same way.  One caveat:  bear in mind that communications with someone other than a spouse or lawyer about the details of the case can be “discovered” and potentially used against you if you say something damaging.  Consult with your lawyer before speaking in any detail about your case with someone who is not your spouse.

5.  Try not to direct your anger or frustration at your loved ones.  This will only make it worse and potentially cause damage that can be permanent.

6.  Try not to direct your anger at your lawyer.  Don’t kill the messenger.  In most instances, your lawyer is doing the best he or she can to protect your interests.

7.  Brace for the long haul, but know it will come to an end.  The cliché, “this, too, shall pass,” is true.  Every lawsuit will come to an end, and there will be an opportunity for closure and new beginnings.